Reply to Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

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[quote=Anonymous]I made dinner most nights as a SAHM and still do as a WOHM.  As a SAHM, I saw my job as caring for my kids and the household and meal planning/groceries/cooking is part of that.  One of the reasons for that is because as a SAHM, I felt an obligation to do what I could to save money and if I wasn't planning/cooking we would have ended up eating a lot of take out and that gets expensive.  A stupid waste of money and not healthy.  When I went back to work DH and I talked about how to divide up the work.  We opted for a schedule where I go in early so he handles the kids in the a.m. including packing lunches and getting them to school while I do the pick-up and make dinner as he gets home later.  He does the grocery shopping on the weekends after I plan what I'm cooking that week, although I occasionally pick something up midweek.

That said, I do know SAHMs who don't' cook dinner because their DH likes to cook and gets home early enough to make that happen.  The main thing is to figure out what works for your family and make sure your family is eating healthfully and modeling good habits for your child.  Eating together is an important family bonding ritual.  It's not about "catering to what DH likes" but being respectful and loving with each other.  Since I plan our meals, yes, they are things I like but I also add things into the rotation that DH likes but wouldn't otherwise be on my list (sloppy joes, brussel sprouts).  I do the same for my kids.  Eating "whatever is around" is fine when you are single but that feels like a soul-less way to live in a family IMO.

It sounds like OP's husband's schedule is inconsistent -- home some evenings, not others, etc.  If I were her, I'd plan to sit down with DH on the weekend to review the schedule for the week -- when will you eat dinner together, what would you both like to eat, what food would he like to have available to make something quick for himself.  Plan the grocery list from that and decide who is going to do the grocery shopping.  Or order if from Peapod if you both hate grocery shopping.  Regardless, you need to move from a "I feed me" mentality to embrace being part of a family.

And, if you can't find time to cook a simple meal while home caring for one toddler then you need to review how you are spending your time.  I had two babies 16 mos apart in age and still cooked most nights.  Meals were simple, but it really is not that hard.

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