Reply to Parent subsidizing my sib big time but not me. Would you be ticked?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Parent subsidizing my sib big time but not me. Would you be ticked?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Anonymous wrote:
My sis and I are on different paths. She coasted for a while after college, worked for years at a movie theater, lived at home for free or nearly free, etc. Substantial drug use. But she now has an office gig making around 50k. She is 30, engaged to a guy making around 70k, and they live together. They are trying to buy a home, and apparently she is getting a big assist with her down payment from mom. I think 50k. She has gone from shopping for homes around $350k to $500k.

I am mid 30s, a lawyer in biglaw. married to a lawyer working part time at a small firm. HHI around 400k. We are semi-frugal but have kids to support, high child care expenses, etc. We are doing well. But, we are looking to move to a top school district in 2017 and don't have enough cash for a down payment yet.

I asked mom if she was going to match her gift to my sis with one to me, and she said no. I know my financial picture is better than my sis's, but that's because I put myself through law school, work harder, have been more responsible. Anyway, I just don't think it's right for a parent to make such a big gift to just one child. She wouldn't get my sis nice Xmas gifts and me crappy gifts or no gifts. She wouldn't leave my sis 60% of her estate and me 40%.

So, is this fair or unfair? (For the record, I would never have asked for help, just wondered if I could expect something). Would you subsidize your own kids unevenly like this?

Fascinating post.

She votes Democrat.

You vote, or should vote, Republican.[/quote]
Why would you say that? I have many friends who are drunks, divorced two or three times, never done anything with all their fancy degrees from big name schools and/or are living off family money who are hard core republicans. They would not compare favorable to OP's sister. At least she is getting her shit together. [/quote]

I think PP would say that, because [i]generally[/i][b] liberals are less likely to accept responsibilities for their poor choices[/b]. As in the troubles of OP's sister are her rich sibling's fault--&gt;resources must be diverted from the siblings to her, because she needs it (Who [i]needs[/i] a 500K house?), and it's all OP's fault anyway :lol: [/quote]

Liberals know that everyone faces different challenges in life and that it's OK to provide a safety net or a hand up to people who either don't have the same skill set, mental health, physical health, or the same luck as someone else. That doesn't negate or devalue the OP's hard work.  But hard work alone didn't get her where she is.

There's also nothing to indicate the OP's sister doesn't accept responsibility for her life choices.   It's her mom who thinks she could use a little help.   OP has no gratitude for her life circumstances.   That, unlike her sister's mindset, is clear.   To me that's just as bad as someone who doesn't accept responsibility.[/quote]

At some point Op's sister crossed over the line from *needing* help to wanting things that she could not afford. Op's mom has chosen to pamper this baby.  [b]It is Op's mom's money.  She can do with it as she pleases.[/b]  Hopefully those two are spending that money wisely!

[/quote]

Yes, she certainly can. And OP can also choose to be resentful about it. Can't escape consequences no matter where you turn. [/quote]

I think that holds true for Mom and Sis though, too.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics