Reply to Is this unfair ( sexual history related)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I don't see it as relevant either, BUT if I asked my partner a question and he flat out refused to answer it, I would wonder WTH is going on there.

Is there any chance it could be a bad memory for him, OP? Some men visit prostitutes for their "first time." Or, it could have been someone older and he feels this reflects badly on him?

A long-ago BF shared with me that his first time was with an older housemaid. She was also a child. He was very young too, maybe something like 9 or ten. I forget. But it made me aware that men can have awful experiences as well.

I don't see how knowing about a partner's first time makes any meaningful difference in the here-and-now, but I can of course see how it could be an interesting piece of someone's history. If it was a long term girlfriend, in college or high school, or a drunken ONS, or a surprise that happened (at camp or Spring Break)...I mean, whatever the circumstance, it does shed light on that person's early experience in some way.

I guess what I'm trying to say, OP, is that I get how weird it would be to have someone withhold this information (and I understand how in some way it could be interesting to know), but I am telling you that it does not matter in any way as far as your current relationship. I feel that I am a lot older than you, so for me, goodness, it's not a question I would even think to ask. It has no bearing on your lives now. That he won't answer is the issue, not the information itself.

Think about why people are calling you troll. It's because, honey at root, this is a total non-starter. Adults don't care about this stuff. You've entered a new world now that you're sexually active. Recognize that this is the norm. Stay healthy and try to let go of the need to know.

[/quote]

But I'm not judgmental about anyone. I would hope he knows that about me by now. I work hard not to be because I was teased about so much stuff.
I think it would be easier if he told me he didn't want to talk about it. I might wonder why, but I could respect that he didn't want to talk about it.
When he says  he doesn't remember I don't see how  it's possible, but maybe  that's because you say it's new to me, and in my mind I'll always remember.  I'm starting to see how complicated sex is.[/quote]

[b]I don't remember my first time. I had a lot of partners in high school/college, and I don't remember the chronological order, or who I had sex with, vs. who I fooled around with. I am 33, just like your boyfriend, so it's entirely possible he doesn't remember.[/quote]
[/b]
This actually makes me feel better.[/quote]

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