Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I am very sorry this is happening to you. There has been some very good advice on this thread. A few pages back on PP talked about investing your time in people. Right now you are in a crisis, but there are some people who just are not worth your time.
I developed a brain tumor in my mid 30s. My family was completely unhelpful. The clincher for me was when my dad told me to go home and die (not to seek treatment) I still do not know what prompted that remark, or his attitude. Perhaps he thought I was just talking ...? But it was an end point for me. Of course this was not advice that I took, and I was very lucky and recovered. The treatment was awful -- I could not walk well for a time, uncontrollable tremors,  shook all over, was emotionally a wreck from the brain medications (mood altering) had trouble speaking, thought I was mentally ill and so on. The family had lots of fun wagging their tongues about how "they always knew..." I did recover 100% which will hopefully be your wife's result also. It is amazing that you can really recover from these events. 
But after months of recovery I had time to sit and think. There are just some people who hurt you and in addition waste your time and energy. The request for presents from your SIL gives me the impression that your in-laws may be those kind of people who need to be put out of your life. It is hard to understand at the time how much of an emotional drag people like that are in life. It is not great for your children, either, even though people will say family at all costs. Some family members need to be replaced with true friends. That was 25 years ago and I have never looked back. It has been peaceful without them.
Wishing you a healing Holiday season. And all the best.[/quote]

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