Reply to Help me out with this- new Christmas dilemma

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How long is the trip?  The kids might be off of school but the adults all have to make it work with their work, ILs and other social engagements.  Seems that more details should have been hammered out at the get-together. [/quote]

NP here. I agree with this, above. Also, if I read the OP right, this announcement got made just days ago--early December, for a Christmas trip. Way too short notice. This family has kids who are going to be in different school systems with different holiday schedules, maybe, and adults who do have jobs to get to. If someone offered us an all-expense-paid trip to anywhere, we couldn't necessarily take it on a few weeks' notice. And totally lost in the equation is any thought of these families having other relatives on the "other side" -- spouses' relatives who might be expecting to see them at some point over the holidays even if the main event is always at this sibling group's home(s).

OP, is "everyone" [i]really[/i] going to make this trip? I would think that once everyone's back home and looking at calendars and remembering promises made to other relatives -- you're going to find there are others dropping out of this master plan too. Or folks will end up doing a huge dance about needing many different arrival and departure dates and times as they try to fit this trip in with their jobs, lives and other holiday plans. Is BIL going to be willing or able to book all that if everyone's coming and going at different times? You might all end up not seeing as much of each other, or Hawaii, as you expect.

I have no quibbles about BIL's offer itself--I'd see it as just a very nice gesture and kindly meant, no need to assign a lot of motives to it other than that. But I do think it must have been made on the spur of the moment because it seems impulsive to toss out the offer of an expensive vacation to a huge group without any advance notice. To me, this wasn't advance notice.

As for OP's husband, I haven't read every reply here, but his objection might actually be more to having his settled, expected Christmas plans upended than to the idea of "I won't go if he pays for it." That may be what husband is saying, but the reality may be different. OP, does your husband's family usually do something with you at Christmas? Any chance he's really more upset about changing or losing that than he is about who pays for this trip? [/quote]

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