Reply to Applying to mainstream private schools: When/how should I tell the admission about DC's autism?

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Reply to "Applying to mainstream private schools: When/how should I tell the admission about DC's autism?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always feel like this board, which is great otherwise, has a very big slant towards wanting to put SN kids in SN schools rather than mainstreaming them.
I'm all for getting kids the support they need, especially at a young age, but when a child functions as well as OP's I'm 100% with her in wanting to keep that child in a mainstream environment.
He does well academically and seem to have any behavioral issues. All the teachers have to do is encourage him and the other kids to be friends? Even NT kids, especially at that age, have social skills deficits.
OP's kid sounds like he would do great at many privates around here.[/quote]

I kind of agree, but OP doesn't want to do public school, either.  She wants a private/independent school to offer her kid resources that you would normally need an IEP for.  This is hard to get at a mainstream school.  So, if she has ruled out public + IEP, then a SN private is pretty much what is left. [/quote]

Yes and that is exactly the dilemma for parents of smart kids with relatively mild Aspergers.  The public schools are a poor fit because the class sizes are so large and what they need more than anything else is a smaller, less stressful environment and a bit more personal attention.  My kid did fine for 2 years in a mainstream public school classroom when it was 17-19 kids; when it jumped to 26 that was just too much.  And none of those great pull-out services we could get in public school with an IEP address that problem, not really.  Maybe you can get an IEP accommodation that says he'll get extra prompts or extra time on this or that, but you cannot get on your IEP that the class should have 15 students and a patient and happy teacher.  On the other hand, there just are not many SN schools that know what to do with this population.  Maddux is great, but it ends in second grade.  The Model Aspergers Program is great if your kid needs 1:1 support or close to it, and you can pay or get your school district to pay (which usually requires significant behavioral problems).  Auburn -- well I'm reserving judgment on Auburn for a bit.  But most SN schools are historically set up to help kids with learning disabilities, and are either not receptive to or not appropriate for kids who are doing grade level academic work or higher but have significant social and maybe emotional challenges.  Montessori can be a loving and supportive environment, and academically OK, but the freedom and lack of structure that they celebrate is the opposite of what most kids on the spectrum need (a predictable, structured day).  So you're left looking for a mainstream private that will be patient and open-minded, and seems to have a peer group that includes kids quirky enough for your a-little-bit-more-than-quirky kid to be friends with.  If it seems like OP is trying to push her kid into an environment that seems not quite right for him, consider that the reason may be that there is no option that will be quite right for him.  Heaven knows I wish there was a Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Mild Aspies out there somewhere, but I sure can't find it and neither can any of the very knowledgeable professionals we have consulted.[/quote]

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