Reply to If you aren't sexually attracted to your spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Unfortunately for the women married to submissive men, they don't have that kind of personality naturally. (That's why she married him--he's "safe" and submissive.) So that means the WOMAN has to do everything she possibly can do to bring out HIS sexuality. She is the dominant personality in all of these relationships. He is the one "asking" for it or begging for it, she's the one calling shots. Since she is calling the shots, SHE has to take the responsibility for the poor state of the relationship, and primary responsibility for fixing it.

This whole analysis of course assumes these women actually want to be happy rather than unhappy. Most of them seem to preferentially want to remain neurotically unhappy in bad marriages, as long as they can blame their husbands. [/quote]

You are overthinking this. The reason why men often have to put in the work to have more sex is because 1) its usually the man that wants sex; and 2) most females have responsive sexual desire so you need to do something to have them respond. As much as I wish it were true, saying "lets fuck" or pushing her up against the wall isn't going to get her going.

Simple economics - the one who wants something more will pay more for it. By and large, men want sex more than women.

Analogy - women, in general, want a cleaner house than men. Who gets stuck doing more of the housework? Women. Because if a man doesn't care, he isn't going to be proactive about cleaning. If he is a good spouse, he will realize his wife wants a clean house and he will help her. But so long as its more important to her, she is going to be stuck initiating the cleaning, doing most of it, and if things get bad, having to verbalize to her spouse the need for him to clean too.

Sex is tricky because he wants her to want to have sex, not just have it. It is understandable, the need to feel desired is universal. Its just not realistic.[/quote]

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