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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]OP himself is typical of the way the husbands these women tend to marry perceive the situation. The clue is he talks about "asking" his wife for sex. That's the whole problem in a nutshell. You don't "ask" your wife for sex as if you are a supplicant and she is granting you a royal favor. You "tell" her that sex is going to happen. Or you don't "say" anything. You just initiate and have sex with her. And to all those women who think their husbands have to "ask" them for sex--why did you marry someone you didn't already want to have sex with?[/quote]

This whole Alpha/Beta stuff is rarely helpful or the cause of the problem.  In the real world, neither women NOR men always married the boy or girl who was the absolute freak in the sheets.  But they usually married someone whom they had a true connection with and whom they had good and frequent sex with until the babies came, and the relationship grew familiar and work, and mortgages, and occasional ED and dryness and real world problems that affect couples who are doing everything else reasonably well.  This isn't just an issue of "throw your wife against the wall and fuck her."  If it was that simple, it would be done.

I say this as about the most Alpha (I hate that term) male you can describe - C-Suite, tall, athletic, decision maker.  We have date nights when we can get them in.  Take trips to nice hotels.  At the risk of being even more arrogant, I get hit on - it would be zero problem having an affair.  And our sex life is what OP's is.  A few times a month, usually decent, sometimes good, rarely great.  Mostly for me, sometimes my DW gets into things as we go along.

If I threw her against the wall, she would say OK, go for it.  But it is not going to turn her into an insatiable beast.  The problem is the familiar, not the technique (which isn't to say there aren't some very shy and weak willed men that could benefit from being more assertive).  Now I think OP might benefit from less talk, more fucking, but only because his wife is probably tired of trying to find a "solution" for what she doesn't see as a problem since they are having decent and semi-frequent and sometimes good sex.  That is normal, and as much as it really does kinda suck for high drive "place a premium on sex" people like OP and I - to paraphrase - it is as good as its going to get.

But if he follows this "be an Alpha ass" routine to his wife, he will go from having average and sometimes good marital sex to less sex because his wife is going to resent his asshole routine.[/quote]

I agree with this guy. I absolutely loathe it when my DH asks me for sex. It is an instant turn off. I asked him to please just come on to me, it speaks volumes about how much you want to have sex vs asking about it. Sadly, he doesn't seem to listen to me as he last time he wanted to have sex he asked me. I said no. He is so selfish and stupid about this it is unbelievable to me.[/quote]

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