Reply to S/O I was the OW and I told the wife

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Reply to "S/O I was the OW and I told the wife"

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[quote=Anonymous]I had this happen to me.  It didn't go on as long, because his wife actually found out and contacted me.  I felt like someone had punched me in the gut when I heard from her.  We had gone on trips together, talked about plans in the future, he was going to go to a friend's wedding with me, etc.  I did end up having a long conversation with her.  She seemed kind of cool, actually, like under different circumstances we might have been friends (I guess he had a type, huh?).  I was clear that I didn't know he was married and never would have dated him if I had, and she just wanted to get a handle on what happened.  I was also clear that I was never going to see him or talk to him again.  She said she was leaving him, but since he lied about everything, she was just hoping I could help her understand the facts.

I don't know that I would have been comfortable meeting her in person--we only talked by phone.  But I am glad that I had a real conversation with her.

OP, I think you can't go wrong either way.  You can send her a nice note explaining that you don't want to talk about this part of your past again, or you could agree to have a phone conversation with her to answer whatever questions she might have.  But you are not the right person to support her through this time.  [/quote]

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