Reply to S/O I was the OW and I told the wife

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Reply to "S/O I was the OW and I told the wife"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
PP here. Yep, total sociopaths, all of them. My super cheater was so attentive. He was talking about the future. Looking back, it was a schtick for him. He had to work hard for me, because I didn't fall for it. I was leaving the area to go to grad school. I was just looking for a fun relationship until I left. He kept telling me his company was bidding on various contracts. When they won, he would hire me and we'd move to X state or X country so we could be together. I kept telling him his was crazy. But in a different time in my life, I totally would have eaten that up!

As for the wife. I'm so glad I talked with my super cheater's wife. Based on my experience, I would talk or meet with her. If you are worried she is a nut case. Get a throw away Google number or a burner phone. Most likely she is just in a lot of pain and needs to talk with someone who knew her husband in a way no one else will understand. [/quote]

Op here. How did the wife react when you met up? Do you think you were helpful to her at the end of the day and was she helpful to you? Sorry if you have already posted this.[/quote]

PP Here. She backed out of meeting me. But we did talk many times over 2 weeks when the initial discovery happened. Then we talked again (once) several years later when she asked me to speak to her lawyer. I'm glad I did it. She did not blame me. We were able to compare notes. It helped me see just how deranged and sick he was. I think it helped her to see me not as some slutty harpy that seduced her husband. But just a fellow woman who he had lied to just as much as he lied to her. I think me talking with her, helped to put some pieces into place for her. It also made me feel less like a victim, in a strange way. Talking with her helped me heal.

I don't know if you'd feel that way since it's been so long since it happened to you. But you could always say to her, "This is opening up some wounds for me. I don't know if this is best for me. If we talk, please understand I may have to end the conversation sooner than you like. I may not be able to talk with you again. I may not be able to help you the way you need. But I'm willing to give one conversation a try."
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