Reply to Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?

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Reply to "Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I was being portrayed as some sort of crazy stalker who pounced on a married man, yep, I would set the record straight.  Everyone is going to be sympathetic to the wife who was cheated on but that does not mean that *I* deserve scorn or ill will towards *ME*.  Plus, she really should know that her husband is duping unsuspecting women like that.[/quote]

You care what a complete stranger thinks about you. You know the wife is a complete stranger, you don't know her at all.

Would you walk up to a complete stranger on the street and tell them your story?

[/quote]

If I got the sense that she was bad mouthing me  and making my name mud in her circle of lady friends.  You bet I would try to talk to her because obviously she is not some random stranger, she is the wronged wife who is pissed off specifically at *ME*.  And I would not deserve that kind of animosity directed at me.  She would deserve to know exactly what her husband did - I'm not talking about bedroom specifics, I am talking about the way he manipulated/duped an innocent woman into being the other woman.  I would also want her to know that I was very, very sorry and would never have willingly participated in a deception like that.  Maybe it would make her feel better that she was not the only one who was hurt by this man.  I don't know.[/quote]

You are putting yourself in the middle of a marriage. Even though originally it was unknowingly, not it is intentionally. You now need to step away and accept the consequences even if that means a bunch of women are talking behind your back. She is a random stranger, the only reason she is not a stranger (in your mind) is because you slept with her husband and he told you a bunch of lies about her.

You are too close to this situation to make rational decisions. You need to step away from this for at least 6 months.

If you said, I want to send a note to the wife that say, i had no idea Joe was married period, nothing else, that is one thing... but you are determined to make sure the wife knows her husband is a terrible human being. That is not your job or your place.

No ... it does not make her feel better that you are hurt too. She does not know you, she does not care about you. Mostly she only cares about her kids.

All APs lie. All men lie to the OW, the wife already knows you were used and tossed like a piece of trash, she knows her H is capable of that. Welcome to affairs.

You were used. That sucks. Deal with it within your own support group. Get out of this triad. [/quote]

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