Reply to Update: New nephews not fitting into family dynamic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that you even say "our family dynamic" without recognizing that they are now FAMILY is telling...and disturbing.[/quote]

Okay, what should I say instead? I am dealing with a very stressful issue here and I am about the only one in the family who is still trying to deal with it. Everyone else has written them off. Why exactly is that disturbing?[/quote]

What's disturbing is that a family dynamic must gore and change and adapt and expand to include all of its members--warts and all. You seem to think it is closed, fixed and limited, and that only "perfect" people can be accepted.

Those boys are children. Children who come from a broken home. And you are going out of your way to exclude them.

Do what you will, but don't wonder why there is now drama, hurt and anger.[/quote]

Attitudes like this make me crazy. What about the accountability of the SIL and the two boys who are causing the drama, hurt and anger. What about their rude behavior and the turmoil they have thrown their family into.

For two threads this OP has asked for advice on how to include them, how to make it better, what to do. So where exactly do you get "You seem to think it is closed, fixed and limited, and that only "perfect" people can be accepted. and "And you are going out of your way to exclude them."?

Being so disruptive that no one can enjoy a vacation or a family event is not something to be accepted. How exactly should a family "grow and change" in that? Stop having family events? Let them run all over everyone elses good time? Oh I know, they should all eat nuggets and fries at each meal and do nothing but play video games. What a jerk OP and her family are for not doing that.[/quote]

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