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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I haven't read through all the comments so maybe you've addressed this, but you haven't told us what big things your wife has had to get past.  If you broke her trust, it will take time for you to earn it back.  Only after the trust is restored can you reasonably expect her to fall back in love with you.  You might just need to keep your expectations low for a while and focus on creating a climate where she can eventually fall back in love with you.  Pushing her to feel or act a certain way now is certain to elicit the resigned, "so tired" responses.  It sounds like she is just worn out.[/quote]

PP here.  I just want to add that I think it is entirely possible to fall in and out of love--and back in again--with a spouse.  Marital love is like anything else in life:  it needs to be nurtured to survive.  The fact that you are in therapy together suggests that she is still committed to your marriage.  That is good, so focus on seeing the half-full glass.  Realize that marriage is not a commitment to stay in love for always; it is a commitment to always giving oneself the time and opportunity to fall back in love when it feels impossible.  Try telling her that you recognize that her feelings for you have changed and that that is okay, then ask that she give herself a year to work on seeing you in a new way while remaining open to the possibility of someday getting those feelings back.  Then stop pressuring her to love you and start doing whatever it is she wants you to do to make her feel loved.  [/quote]

20:11 here and I think this is dead on.  I hope my actual DH reads this.[/quote]

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