Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you really even want her help?  Won't your kid also be watching trashy tv and listening to gossipy phone calls all day long?  I don't get this expectation that grandparents will provide childcare other than as a favor/gift.  Nobody owes you childcare.  She did her time raising kids already, maybe she just wants to relax.  I think you need to separate the issue of her care in old age from childcare for your kid.  They're not related.[/quote]

Wait, so why does OP not get to enjoy her savings after "doing time" at work to earn them?  The money spent on old people without a pot to piss in (at least partly because MIL refused to work) should be spent on things OP, the one who worked for that money, wants.[/quote]

I tend to agree with this. OP - make sure that you and your child have a good financial future. Set that money aside. It's untouchable and tell them that. Set some money aside to also enjoy life. When the moment comes where they need help, you can evaluate what level of assistance you can provide with what money you have left. Considering that you want to set up care for you and your spouse for down the road, I imagine you won't have much left, if any.

I would also talk to your husband about what point would you consider them moving in? What happens if they need more care than you can provide? How can their social security checks contribute to the household while they live with you? At what point do they move into a medicaid facility, because that seems like the only option they will have if their health declines. And - if your parents are still alive, what happens if they need some help, too It's a tough situation OP.[/quote]

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