Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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Reply to "S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care"

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[quote=Anonymous]Of course this is frustrating, but OP needs to realize how much she benefited from the hard work of others. These days it is an extraordinary gift to have a full college education paid for by one's parents, and then some. She has grown up in a household with parents who are frugal and have modeled good money management, and she should thank her lucky stars that she didn't spend her early adulthood scrambling to pay back college loans like so many of us, even the ones who had parents who tried to help.

OP does not have to take in her indigent in-laws, but there certainly must be some middle ground. She can go through life trying to hold on desperately to what she has (much of which she owes to her own parents), or she can go through life with a grateful and charitable outlook. And I don't necessarily mean "charity" as in giving away money, but rather a charitable worldview where you give people the benefit of the doubt and try to look at others with compassion.

Her MIL may be scared out of her wits worrying about what happens if her husband becomes disabled and knowing that she doesn't have any resources or work skills. She may be hiding behind blustery bravado while sending out feelers to see if her son and his wife would be willing to help or whether they would wave from the sidelines as she slipped into financial ruin. Or maybe she knows that she'll probably get some help from her kids, but at the price of being humiliated continually by their "I-told-you-so" attitude.

Where is OP's husband in all this? What about the FIL? Why is this all on the DIL and MIL to resolve?
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