Reply to Looking for constructive feedback from low libido partners

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Looking for constructive feedback from low libido partners"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW with a high libido here, but I turn down sex with my DH. I used to LOVE sex and be very creative and kinky in bed, but I hate the way my DH is in bed. When we first got married I thought that this would change that he just liked to have sex differently than me and we would learn how the other one like it. Was I ever wrong. He is such a great guy otherwise, but now when he touches me sexually it repulses me for some reason. Even if he kisses me. It may sound harsh, but how are you in bed? Would she be able to tell you the truth without crushing you?

If all else fails try counseling, watching porn together, toys, sex clubs, specialty kink clubs, swings, having an open marriage. Please tell her that it's so important that you may want to split because of it. [/quote]

OP here, I appreciate your thoughts - I have often assumed its something I am doing, so I try to do different things, have bought sex toys, offered to watch porn, change positions.  But then imagine how inconsiderate I seem when I am trying to spice things up and have wild, passionate sex when she is just not in the mood and really wants me to be efficient and get it over with.

I would love it if she told me the problem was something I was doing.  I would change it up in a heart-beat.  Alas, she claims she is just never in the mood.  That part has long been unfixable by anything in my control.[/quote]

I am the DW that commented above that there is nothing you can really do about this. Reread your last sentence. Therein lies your answer...you already know this. [b]So you have three choices...accept the status quo, cheat, or leave. [/b]I am in the same boat. After going through a ton of shit on top of the now or low sex business's, after having an emotional affair and one night stand and realizing that was not my answer...and realizing that even after a year of individual (for me) and couples therapy (DH won't go on his own), I have come to realize that this is IT. Either I accept it, or move on and break up my family (we have two young kids).[b] I have decided to stay; but mainly for the kids.[/b] [/quote]

New poster here, married to another low libido spouse.  I have also BTDT with the one night stand and somewhat of an emotional affair and its just not worth the risk/hassle (at this point).  So I also stay for the kids.  What is you coping mechanism so you don't get too bitter with your spouse and enjoy the rest of the marriage?  Have you been able to set aside the resentment from the sexual mismatch?[/quote]

Hi, PP here. Lots of therapy and moving from a victim mentality to one of understanding that his is how my spouse is and I have to make the decision to stay or go, which have me some power back, has helped a lot. I also actively fantasize about men I've met. And masturbate.

I have let go most of my resentment through all of the above. There are days when it comes flooding back. But I have my reasons for staying, and I generally accept them.[/quote]

I accept my husband is low drive, and that he's not physically affectionate in general, and that he's not considerate of me because he doesn't care if we have sex or not and honestly, would have been happier never marrying at all.  I accept these things because I have a long term affair partner who gives me what my husband does not. I couldn't stay otherwise.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics