Reply to Does anyone think their child ISN'T attractive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Um... IME, people (strangers) will stop probably 90% of parents to tell them how cute their baby is.

I don't mean that nearly every parent will be subjected to a constant barrage of oohs and aahs from every single stranger they meet, but I do mean that nearly every parent will be told repeatedly (maybe daily, if they get out a lot) that they have a "sooo cute," or even "beautiful" baby (especially before the child is 2).

I think it's like having a puppy-- even the "ugly" ones are pretty cute to people who like dogs, for a variety of evolutionary reasons.  Plus, their cute behavior, smiles, etc. can up the cute factor a lot.

Obviously some people get more compliments than others, but I think it's really hard to tell, especially when you're a first-time parent, if you are getting more compliments than anyone else.  Spoiler alert-- you're probably not.

If anything, I probably downgrade my own DC's appearance-- I probably think she's less attractive than she "objectively" is.  Compliments galore.  But I know lots and lots of kids who are nothing "special" (as compared to other babies/toddlers) whose parents get told how cute they are-- pretty frequently. That's along with kids I think are more "objectively" attractive than my own DC.   [/quote]

You can tell the difference when you have a couple of kids and when one gets more or less attention from people. It is obvious with several kids.  #1 Complimented all the time. Cute as a button but had a very outgoing personality and was exceptionally verbal at a very early age. Got tons of attention, constantly, from everyone. #2 Almost never complimented, and when he was it was a vague general compliment like "such big eyes" or "nice outfit". Once, a lady in a waiting room for older child's activity let her inner voice out accidentally, and out slipped "those ears" or something of that ilk while she was looking at my baby. Very embarrassing and awkward for her.  #3 absolutely adorable child. Constantly complemented. Very strongly resembles a very popular child actor (told this at least twice/week by strangers) and a strong, pleasant, outgoing personality which makes people view kids as more attractive.

As they have gotten older, #2 has grown into those strong, dramatic looks that were so odd on a baby/toddler. As a kid, that one is turning into stunning little person. #1 is cute average, and #3 still gets tons of attention for being cute.

I think they are all amazingly beautiful though because they are mine ;)[/quote]

Yes, I'm the PP. As I said, I'm sure that parents of more than one have a better idea (although not perfect).

But as a mom to (one) older toddler, I just have so many other first-time-parent friends who remarked at one time or another that people were "always coming up to us to tell us how cute he or she is." And the parents didn't say this to me in an obnoxious way, it just came up at some point-- or I even witnessed it when we were out and about together. And this applied to babies I personally think were cute-ish as well as kids I think are "objectively" stunningly beautiful.

Just saying that the experience of having a stranger per day (give or take) compliment your baby's looks is pretty common. Maybe not a universal experience. Surely variable (some get it even more than others). But pretty darned common.

The bar for a baby to look cute or even "really cute" or "beautiful" to an adult is just lower-- and, though it is probably a lesser factor, so is the bar for a stranger to actually verbalize this (vs a stranger spontaneously remarking on this to the parent of an older kid, or to an adult).    [/quote]

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