Reply to I've done so much more than he has in life

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here and I've read the update about you having 3 kids etc.  I think it depends how front and central traveling is to your life now along with how adverse he is to traveling.  If he never wants to leave his home town and you will never be happy staying in his home town (to live/retire), I don't see that working.  You need to be able to agree on where to live at various stages of life.  If traveling is an all consuming hobby of yours to the point that you would be neglecting your relationship if you always did it on your own and he had zero interest in joining you ...again a problem.  You can fill in any all consuming hobby like he plays soccer every day after work, on the weekend and goes on soccer trips ...if not sharing the hobby means you would barely get to spend time with the person unless you are happy in a relationship where you never spend time together I don't see that working.

If it is anything other than those absolutes, it can work if everyone feels comfortable with his/her choices without putting the other person down.  He didn't get a PhD and that's fine if that wasn't the right choice for him but he can't believe that only suckers go for advanced degrees or feel inferior that he didn't get one.  You have a PhD, and while you are proud of your accomplishment you can't feel like you are unequally yoked if he doesn't have that same level of education.  You have to be able to value/appreciate what he brings to the relationship rather than focusing on what he doesn't have/do and he has to be doing the same.  Because you can appreciate the other person, you hopefully meet in the middle ground for some things like maybe he travels a little more because he knows you enjoys it and he appreciates your sense of adventure, but maybe you want to stay around his hometown a little more because you appreciate him being so grounded and able to enjoy some of the more simple things in life.  [/quote]

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