Reply to I can't seem to find other moms who want to go out and have fun

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for all your comments!  My husband and I were discussing this issue recently.  He offered another perspective.  He agreed that it is important for me to have some adult conversation and socialize with other moms/ladies at least once a week, since many days it's just me and my child (and my child doesn't talk) for 14 hours or more a day, so some days I don't end up talking to another adult all day.

But he was saying that when I want to find other people to join me for a ladies only dinner or brunch on a weeknight or weekend, I'm "competing" with a bunch of other things for their limited free time.  Such as them having family/friends in town, them traveling to see family/friends, being on vacation, spending time with neighbors, friends, co-workers, and spending time on hobbies, exercise, and watching TV shows.

He pointed out that other than work (or stay at home parenting), in the evenings or in small periods of free time on the weekends, most people's schedules are packed with these other interests/commitments, especially visiting family/friends and having family/friends in town to visit them.

But he pointed out that we have none of these things which I listed above, which is why our schedules are always wide open, why we never have weekend plans, and we're always searching for people to do things with and things to do on weeknights/weekends.  We don't have local family and family is too far away to see more than once or twice a year, we don't really have friends we keep in touch with in our hometowns, we don't have any friends in the neighborhood, we don't have co-worker friends (I stay at home, he isn't friends with any of his co-workers), we don't really have friends that we made before baby (we tried but it's very hard to make friends when you're a married couple without kids new to an area and moved here in your 30s), we don't exercise (my exercise is chasing my toddler around, stroller walks and trips to the park), we don't have hobbies, and we don't watch any TV (one mom I invited out told me she couldn't go because she didn't want to miss her TV shows that night).  So he was pointing out how our lifestyle is much, much different than most people's because we are lacking in these other things.  He was saying it sucks that neither of us is able to find people to do a ladies night/guys night out, and also that he doesn't think that things will get better for us.  I have made a few friends in the past year, which is great and I'm definitely less lonely, but he hasn't made any friends since we moved here.  We both need and want more friends.

Anyhow, I thought his perspective really made sense and wanted to share, in case anyone else is finding themselves without many friends too.[/quote]

What are your interests? Do really just stare at a wall in the evenings? What would make you an interesting friend to others?[/quote]

OP here.  My interests are (in no particular order): dining out and trying new restaurants, doing fun activities in the area (like hiking, walking, festivals, fairs, day trips, etc.), renovating my house, being outdoors (walking, hiking, going to parks), socializing, and volunteering.  Many of these (such as dining out and trying new restaurants, socializing, etc.) are things that I'd love to do with other mom or women friends, but I can't find people to go out with!  Others of these interests don't really lend themselves to a social hobby.  I used to volunteer a lot pre-baby but never made any friends that way, though I loved the volunteer work I was doing.  Now I don't really have time to volunteer since I am with my toddler 24/7.  Of course I don't stare at the walls in the evenings.  Often after toddler's bedtime (while husband stays home) I go out and run errands, go out for dinner by myself, take a walk in a park, clean the house and do chores, etc.  [/quote]

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