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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I asked DH. Apparently it's a legit thing. DH used to masturbate in lubed condoms on long solo road trips.

Who knew? He said he hadn't done this since college though.[/quote]

What? I'm a guy and never in my life have I thought of this or even heard of it. I hate using them while fucking let alone beating my dick[/quote]

+1
I think I masturbated with a condom once in HS because I wanted to know what one feels like.

And I learned that they're the worst thing ever. [/quote]

Male here.  I cheated in my first marriage and will share a couple of things in my experience. I am not saying all men are the same, but I do think there are tendencies. 
1.  Once a cheater, almost always a cheater. In my first marriage, in my mind I used the lack of sex as an excuse to cheat. I should have just gotten a divorce and found someone who I was compatible with sexually. In my second marriage, I have a beautiful wife, but her sex drive is lower(how do I find these women).  In any case, I cheat on her. Not proud of this, but being honest. 
2.  Spending a lot of time getting evidence may help emotionally, but does not help legally at all. My ex-wife spent a lot of time and money on a PI, getting records, deposition, etc. Not only did it not a bit of difference in our VA divorce with regards to our finances and legal custody, but it pissed off the judge who kept telling my ex's attorney To stop wasting time. I felt my ex was so blinded by her desire to expose my cheating, that she did not focus on the important aspect of getting a fair financial settlement. It also seemed that her attorney did not dissuade her from this approach, costing my ex a lot of fees. IMO, my ex did noT get the settlement she should have gotten because of the misplaced focus. 
3.  Financially, men seem to recover faster than ex-wives, hence paying attention to # 2 above. 
4.  After we got divorced, I Felt ashamed and thought that my co-workers, friends, family would all think less of me. Turns out that very few people care. And the few who do care, with time forget. So many people are divorced that it just does not matter, except to my children. 
5.   IMO, kids are affected adversely by divorce for the rest of their life. There is a range of the effects, so the effects can be overcome with therapy and time. I regret the effect of the divorce on my children and if I had it to do over again, I would have figured out a way to make amends in my first marriage, worked harder to fix the sexual mis-match issue, and tried harder to stay married.

Based in my experience, and only my experience, if you were my sister, I would advise the following:
First decide If you can tolerate his behavior, keeping in mind the effect of divorce on her child. Most can not, and if this is the case, get an attorney and file for divorce. I would tell my sister to not waste time with guilt or pointing fingers. Focus on getting a fair financial settlement. Unless there is abuse involved, legal custody of children is pretty straightforward and not affected by the cheating. [/quote]

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