Reply to DH's job hunt: help me not be an ass.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Losing a job is a traumatic event. I'm kind of aghast at how unsupportive you all are of your husbands.[/quote]

I agree it is a traumatic event.  But you should be over the shock within a day or two.  Then you put your focus on finding a new job.  Spend a few hours each morning searching, applying etc.  Then you spend the rest of your day doing things you've wanted to get done while working, working out, enjoying the free time, etc.

But if someone is moping around for weeks and weeks and months about not having a job, they need to grow up and face reality.

I have been laid off a few times.  It sucks....but being depressed won't help get you a job.  Have some savings, keep your resume updated, and have a plan for when it happens.[/quote]

I have known dozens of people who have been laid off or between jobs or couldn't get a job right out of school. Nobody is upbeat all the time or even half of the time. Nobody sets a goal of applying to at least five jobs per day and sticks to it. It is well and good to say people should do that. Nobody does it in reality so expecting them to is ridiculous.

(And if your response is "well I did!" please include your address so I can mail you a medal).[/quote]

Well I did.  I am a very positive person.  I just took the task of finding a new job as my morning thing to do.

Get up, go to starbucks with my laptop, search and apply for a few hours, and then go about my day.  There was plenty to do to keep my mind off the fact I wasn't working and that my severance/savings would eventually run out.  It sucks, but it isn't the end of the world.[/quote]

I have to wonder what kind of jobs you were applying for.  When I was applying for jobs, I routinely spent 4-6 hours crafting the cover letter for each, and another hour or two customizing my CV or resume for the particular job opening.  It wasn't a "click apply and upload generic resume" kind of thing.  A few hours at Starbucks in the morning wouldn't have cut it.  Applying for jobs WAS a full-time job.[/quote]

Not to mention the more senior and specialized you get in your field, the fewer jobs that are online. It becomes more about talking to people and feeling out where there may be a need; sure you're doing some online apps, but showing up at Sbux and spending 3 hrs a day applying for jobs and then merrily move on with your day isn't realistic. I found there wasn't stuff being posted online/LinkedIn to apply for on a daily basis.

And agree with the PPs -- no one is blaming or criticizing the people who say -- who has 8 months to mope, I have bills to pay and kids. It's those folks who are criticizing the rest by saying they must be mentally ill or deficient in some way if they mope for a while or take months or yrs off after a job loss bc they can afford it. I don't see any of those folks saying -- see, you should have more money invested . . . .[/quote]

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