Reply to 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hygiene and grooming are two different things.  I'd say this is a grooming issue on which people have divided views on whether grooming is expected or a matter of vanity.  The answer is obviously informed by social, culturally, and personal values.

In some cultures it is crystal clear that removing leg hair is an essential grooming issue.  In others, it would seem crazy.  I'd say in the US far more people than not believe shaving is a basic of grooming.  others think it is not, with some of the latter saying it's vanity.  There isn't a right answer here, but clearly no one who thinks about this for more than a few minutes would come away with the view that it is a hygiene issue.[/quote]

I agree and it is 100% vanity for 10yr olds.  What if everyone makes fun of her nose, or her freckles, etc...  You have to like yourself.  If you teach your kids to change themselves every time someone says something, they will never be happy. [/quote]

I don't understand responses like this. If she were 16 would you allow dd to shave? Do you shave? You're still changing your body to conform to societal standards, even though you're older. What's the lesson to be learned from being bullied for years until she reaches an arbitrary age, if you're planning on letting her do it eventually anyway?

It's not like driving, dating, drinking, enlisting in the military, etc, in which case being older allows for safer or wiser choices. I just don't understand making them wait. If a parent didn't believe in shaving for some moral or religious reasons, I'd get that more (not really understand, but I think I'd get that more than an arbitrary and inflexible age limit).[/quote]

So do you let your 10yr old wear make-up because it makes her feel better?  Kids think she is ugly and it makes her feel better.  Would you let her?   There is no difference.  10yr old is a CHILD.  There is no reason a child should be doing anything but shampoo and soap.  [/quote]

The child isn't asking to wear make up - the child is asking to shave.  Most (all?) 10 year olds don't wear make-up.  A decent number of 10 year old girls shave - especially those with darker/fuller leg hair.

A lot of 10 year old girls also: use deodorant, use zit cream and may use concealer on occasion.   As the mother of a 10 year old with many different 10 year old girls running in and out of my house all the time, I can tell you this is true of many of them.  Why?  because many of them are entering puberty and so, their bodies, and the changes to them, are front and center in their minds. They notice a lot about their bodies - not because of society, but because their bodies are changing - some rapidly.  So they start noticing them and them want help feeling better about them.  It's my job as a mom to help with that.[/quote]

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