Reply to Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^But you have talked about them- in fact, YOU brought them up.

You are trying to prove that somehow youre a better catch than her because everyone on this thread thinks differently.

Again, I am old money too, but I dont rely on that to form my identity, and I have never used that as an excuse to not pursue earning MY OWN money.

If you bring something into the discussion, be prepared for people to call you on it and give their opinion.

No one is "trolling" you- they just dont like you or respect you... got it? [/quote]

Gaslight much? Seriously, I weep for your husband. If you go back and look at the thread, you were the one who insulted me when I explicitly only gave out limited info on my bio/income and my gf's bio/income. You wrote, "Also, it's even funnier that she outearns you by such a margin and yet only has a BA and you have a ton of graduate degrees. Kind of hilarious actually." Only at that time did I come back at you to explain that yes, some people choose prestige over income and provide context on why my current salary only being in the low 100s versus 400s doesn't bother me. You were being nasty and deflecting from the topic at hand. Go back and read your posts. You were blah blah tell us about her job it sounds so interesting. OP did not come on to talk about jobs. I gave a little context and asked why she would stay. You couldn't stay on topic. [/quote]

No, you brought being "old money" into the discussion.

And, excuse me, but that is hilarious.  Because it speaks to a complete failing on your part, and a real reversal of the expected outcomes.

You came in to ask for relationship advice, specifically why this lady hasnt dumped you.  [b]I happen to be more interested in hearing about [/b]your GF's achievements because I find her much more interesting than you.

You also seem to be fond of whining, both about your GF and then to the posters here when they dont find you to be the impressive person you've deluded yourself into thinking you are.

And instead of taking the opinions people gave you, you argued with EVERYONE and try to convince them otherwise.  Well, sorry, it doesn't work.  Thou dost protest too much, and I have never seen ANYONE on DCUM make such an ass of themselves trying to convince the posters here that they arent a loser.

Seriously?  Talking about being old money.

God. I have so much second-hand embarrassment for you right now. [/quote]

Bingo. Read the bolded part. You thread-jacked. And did it in a d-bag manner. Even if you're now post-hoc trying to claim your focus on income was to explain gf's behavior, it doesn't. Focusing on income actually makes gf's behavior make LESS, not MORE, sense. So you clearly had your own interests at heart in this thread. You're the one who isn't a particularly nice poster.[/quote]

:roll: It's not bingo anything.  I asked about your GF's business and you didn't want to give out info.  And then I responded accordingly, saying that I wasnt surprised (and I wasnt) given your clear inferiority complex.

This is when the bizarre ranting about being old money came in.

[/quote]

Actually it's very much bingo. Any fair-minded reader will note that you directly in this response admit that I came on to ask a very narrow question. Given a set of facts, what theories might other posters have (hopefully posters who had been in similar stand offs) about why my gf is choosing to remain in the relationship. You then admit in this response that such a question (my question, OP, you know? the one who started the thread) didn't interest you. Rather, you wanted to ask about my gf's business all the meanwhile insulting me about my income. The real proof comes out (that your intentions were not helpful) in the fact that your focus on my income lacking actually undermines any theory for why she remains with me. So almost everything you chose to yammer about did ZERO to explain a theory about why gf has stayed. Your sole mission in this thread had ZERO to do with OP's original question. You know it, I know it, any person reading the thread can see it.[/quote]

Yes, and I gave you my take on the situation, which is that, [b]you are useful to her[/b], for now, despite the fact that objective parties would probably classify you as a bit of a loser in comparison to her.

You, obviously, didn't like that and that's when the "but I'm old money!  Wahhhh!" claws came out.  (Which, I must admit, was very entertaining, so thanks for that.)

And btw, stop gaslighting, youre not good at it and you keep referring to yourself as "I" and then "OP", and it's just embarrassing, like everything else you've said.[/quote]

Wow, so your take on the puzzle of why my gf has weighed the costs and benefits of staying and is staying is that she's weighed the costs and benefits and the benefits of me are useful and outweigh the costs. Sage advice PP. Real Nostradamus answer there. You basically engaged in tautology. That's not a theory. "Oh wow, she's staying, you provide a benefit despite all the evidence I'm about to tell you about why you don't provide any benefits!" Not very coherent theory, PP.[/quote]

It actually is a coherent theory.  She's probably quite lonely.  I would say maybe you have a good personality, but that's clearly not the case.

I mean, it works for her.  She controls the purse strings, she gets house ownership.  She gets to choose when to have sex.

And you get to come along for the ride.

Makes sense to me, even if you are a dud by most people's standards. [/quote]

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