Reply to 9 year old asked how gay people have sex.. How to respond?

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[quote=Anonymous]Jeez. Okay, here's the answer that you giver your child. Are you ready? It's a loose script, so improvise as you see fit:

Child: How do gay people have sex?

Parent: Are you asking how gay people make babies?

Child: Yes, sort of. Not really.

Parent: Oh, okay, you're asking a specific question, but really there's a lot more to your question than you think. It's a very good question. And as you know, I promise that I'm someone you can come to, to ask these kinds of questions because NOTHING embarrasses me, plus I'm very smart. :)

Child: Mom, are you going to go on and on again? I really just want to know that one thing!

Parent: I promise, I'll get to it very quickly. But I have to give you some background first.

Child: Okay. (sigh)

Parent: As you know, when we talked about how to make a baby, we talked about sperm and ovum. Penis in vagina, sperm comes out of penis, swims up vagina, through uterus, on to...

Child: I know. We've read the book a zillion times.

Parent: Right. Well, with all that talk, I might've given you the impression that people only have sex one way, and the only do it for one reason: to make babies.  But the truth is, when you're in a really good, strong, safe and romantic loving grownup relationship, most grownups have sex not to have babies, but because it is fun and feels nice. Not all sex feels nice, like if it's forced on you or if it is hurtful or harmful to your body and your heart. But if you have two grownups who love and trust and care about each other, people have sex sometimes because it feels good to that with your romantic true love.

Child: Ew.

Parent: Right. Ew. But that's the truth.  So when you ask how gay people have sex, the answer is, if they're in a grown up, safe, loving and caring romantic relationship, they do sex in a way that makes them feel good and close to their partner. So that might be touching each other, kissing each other, and doing other things that feels good to their penis (if they are men) or vaginas (if they are women).

And the truth is, I can't tell you what every single gay couple does, because I'm going to guess it can be different depending on the couple; it depends on what they both like. Same for man-woman relationships in fact.

Child: Okay. I guess.

Parent: Did you hear about something specific?

Child: Mmmm, I'm too embarrassed to say.

Parent: I'm not embarrassed. Do you want to take a moment, or shall I guess what maybe you heard about?

Child: You guess.

Parent: Did you hear something about penises and butts?

Child: Yeah.

Parent: Well, I suppose that's one way, a penis in a butt. But again, that would only be something two people would do if they both felt it was okay. I would imagine lots of people think that would hurt and feel not so good, so I don't think that's what everyone would do. Even man-woman relationships, you know.

Child: Okay.  Guess again.

Parent: Did you hear about maybe people using their hands or mouths on a penis or on a vagina?

Child: Yeah.

Parent: Well, that could be another way that gay or man-woman couples might have sex, too. Again, that would only be if they both thought it was okay and didn't hurt or force the other person to do something they didn't like.

Child: Okay.

Parent: I want to tell you that these are good questions. Like I said, I can't tell you what any particular couple does, because it's private between them. But if two grownups are in love, it's always something that they talk about with their partner and make sure it's completely okay with them, no matter who they are.

And, as you know, it is never okay for someone to make a child do these things. A grownup shouldn't ever do this with a child, and a child should've ever do this with another child.  That is really a private thing for grownups because sex and romantic love is very big responsibility.

Child: Sometimes I've touch myself and it felt good.

Parent: That's just fine. Remember, that's private for you. You do that alone in privacy, and you're growing up and learning about yourself. That's normal and perfectly okay because it's your body and your privacy.  It's personal and confidential.  It's not for anyone else, not until you are a grownup and you find someone really special and you know all about birth control and being safe and healthy. Because even though it can be fun with the right person when you're a grownup, it's also a big responsibility.

Pregnancy with a girl, or germs with anyone--sometimes diseases can spread from one person to the other, so you have to know how to be careful, use things like condoms and make sure you and your partner get tested by a doctor just in case.  That's for later. I can tell you all about that stuff, too, and I can get you some books you can read yourself.  It's good to know. Important stuff.

Did I answer all your questions?

Child: I guess. So you're saying a man might put his penis in someone's butt?

Parent: I said the might and I said they might not. It depends. But I also said they should be grownups, close, trusting, talk about it, care about each other, and be careful not to spread or get disease, too.  See? It's complicated.

Child: So the answer is yes!  EWWWWW! Butts are so grossss!!!!!

Parent: Go to sleep you little monkey! And whatever you do, don't make anyone feel ashamed or bad about being gay! Being gay is not about butts, it's about who you fall into romantic love with. And romantic love is a pretty great thing with hearts and roses and hand holding, you know. It's what makes the world go round. It's why I love your dad/mom.

Child: I know.

Parent: Good night. You ask good questions. Ask more whenever you want.[/quote]

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