Reply to Should I Tell Him Abt My Friend's Violent Past

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here

To clarify-

She was an adult, not in college. She had 3 kids already for goodness sake.

He got a restraining order and something legal DID happen. I was the one who picked her up from court the day she was taken there after her arrest.

[b]I don't understand how you can question my friendship when I was there for her at her lowest[/b].[/quote

Then you're a foul weather friend, happy to be there when your friends are on the low side, but not able to celebrate when they make it,mostly because it allows you to be a rescuer or feel superior.

Also, you're so concrete in thought. So she had three kids. It does not change a one time thing that is unusual given circumstance and time. It's been 10 years, what do you want?

My ex and I were like sodium and water. He assaulted me, I needed hospital treatment, the police were involved. All this said, I do not consider him a violent person. Our conditions, over YEARS were so emotionally volatile, it came to a head in one less that proud moment for him. He wasn't the better person, nor in any way the person he was or truly IS. What happened at the time needed intervention, but I don't agree that is or was his pattern of behavior, and especially not 10 years later. We are better and older and both have lived a new path. We can say hello and I feel no fear for myself, his new wife, or daughter. YES, HE HAS A VIOLENT ACT in his past, but he did his "time" and I like to think as someone I loved once, he learned.

If y are this woman's friend,my oh will believe in the better in her. Thank your stars you haven't had to live this.

[/quote]

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