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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
OP here. Thank you for all the supportive responses. I really do appreciate it. I typed my post quite hastily last night, so I wanted to clarify a couple of things.

I did not mean to imply that only unhealthy women have stillborns. Sorry that it came across that way. The point I was trying to make was that I have never heard of an explanation. I have never heard if it was something wrong with my mom, the baby, if the cord was wrapped around her neck. I have had three kids of my own and my mom has never told me of anything I should be aware of.

The part that seems off is that I remember talking with my mom about my sister and I being breach, and I wondered why we weren't c-section. She said that the doctor told her "If you could deliver a 10 pound baby, you could deliver pretty much anything." But wouldn't that be an odd thing to say since there was a stillborn after the 10 pounder? this makes me think that the baby was not actually a stillborn and actually died (or not) sometime after birth. It wouldn't be out of character for my parents to say it was a stillborn to simplify things so that they wouldn't have to endure questions, advice about lawsuits, anger toward hospital from loved ones.

This isn't something I've "obsessed" over for years. It's always been in the back of my mind that I might not have the whole story, but I've just recently really started thinking about it. As a kid, I never thought much about the fact that we were not supposed to go to that hospital. That's just the way it was and I never questioned it. It didn't have a reputation for being a great hospital, but I didn't know anyone else who felt that strongly about it and refused to go there, even in an emergency. I've recently thought about that I realized there must be a reason that she felt so strongly about it.

I don't think there is a birth or death certificate, and I don't think I could request one without their help. So I'm not even sure of the exact date she was born.

Knowing my parents, they probably did not ask to see her after she passed.

I do think that they believe she died and did not give her up. My mom is visibly upset when something comes up about dead babies. For example, when we saw a preview for Heaven is For Real, she walked out of the theater when the kid talked about seeing his sister who was miscarried. And she was buried in another state so that she could be buried next to relatives. I don't think they would have a fake grave for her, and I really don't think they would go through the process of having her transported to another state if they knew she wasn't really dead.

Losing that baby was, of course, the most painful time of their life. So they really don't like to talk about it. BUT if it turned out that she was alive, nothing would make them happier, and they would love to meet her if she wanted that. They would not be the type to leave it be and move on.

I know it seems a bit crazy and far fetched, but stranger things have happened... [/quote]

My best friend had a stillborn baby, and even with all the tests that are available today, they just don't know why. No cause could be determined in the autopsy, mom was totally healthy (and went on to have two more healthy babies), preganancy was completely uneventful up until the day before her due date when the baby just stopped moving. It happens. Sometimes that is the whole story, even today.[/quote]

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