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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I truly don't understand this perspective.  It just strikes me as a bit provincial.  Don't you want your children to be independent, strike out on their own, see somewhere different from where they grew up?  Why constrain them to driving distance?

Both my parents came from humble backgrounds (two different countries) but went to school *oceans* away from their parents.  That was just the norm in both small countries--many people went abroad for university.

My husband also grew up abroad.  While his parents settled on the East Coast, he went to the West Coast to a great university.  Completely life-changing experience for him that permeates today.  I stayed very close to home (TBH, largely due to my long-term boyfriend at the time), and I wish I would've ventured farther afield, for my own development and independence.

I love my young daughter fiercely (she's 3, but I occasionally look at the college board).  I plan on strongly encouraging her to go away to school--CA, UK, etc.  It will be hard, but I believe that she will learn a lot about herself and gain greater independence along the way, while also planting the seed of travel, experiencing different places, etc.

Of course, a lot can change before then--if she has mental health issues, or special needs, or something, we'll have to take that into consideration.  But otherwise, we're pushing her out of the nest and hoping she'll feel confident enough to truly spread her wings (sorry for the cliches; partly the wine talking! :)).[/quote]

OK, so you want to do it your way because that's how your parents did it, and I want to do it my way because that's how my parents did it.

Going to college near home doesn't mean you don't ever travel or experience anything outside your home. Studying abroad was a wonderful experience for me for a semester. But in our family, 4 years of that would have been too much. I would have missed interacting with my grandparents in the years before their deaths, missed my sibling's wedding, and missed countless holidays. Life is short and it is reasonable to prioritize being near family.[/quote]

PP here.  Oh, I think you misunderstood my point--in mentioning what has been the norm in my own family and my husband's, I didn't mean to suggest that people should blindly follow family tradition.  I just meant to suggest that our own experiences have pushed us to sort of expand our horizons a bit (i.e., going away to college) for our own child.

To be clear, I would never dictate what region of the country my child can apply to college in.  I'd definitely urge her to consider places further away, since I've seen many young people stay local for college and then never spread their wings further.  I grew up in a small town where most people I know attended college nearby and still live there today.  Unless there are extenuating circumstances (severely ill loved-one, etc.), I'm not sure why limiting my child's options to colleges close by would be in the best interest of my child, other than soothing my own parental anxiety/sense of loss.  I'd urge her to apply to whatever colleges are the best fit for her personality, intended major, and future plans, whether close by or farther away.

As to your point about missing out on family events, I also missed out on family reunions, grandparents' funerals, etc. because my parents chose to leave their home countries and settle elsewhere.  But when is it acceptable for a child to look further from home for education, then?  Grad school?  First job?  There are trade-offs, but that's a conversation to be had about the pros/cons of going away to college.  I just hope I don't let my own needs/desires hamper that discussion when the time comes.[/quote]

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