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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know why this is such a source of stress for you.  Sit down, figure out a budget, including what goes into the savings/retirement accounts that aren't readily accessible.  So, every 1st of the month, that money goes into the kitty.  Whatever is left you spend that month. Assume it will be all gone.  He and you can't spend the money you don't have. That's it. Assume that whatever is left after the savings/retirement contribution is made will be gone by the 30th of each month. [/quote]

OP here, are you not reading along?  What you describe takes discipline and the whole point of this thread is that DH lacks discipline.[/quote]
What's there to read? Didn't you say you are in charge of family finances? Were you lying? Set it up so that a certain amount goes into untouchable accounts after every payday. If you can't touch it, you can't spend it. Do you need a refresher on financial instruments that aren't readily accessible? The Internet is your friend.

I also think that you aren't a very pleasant person and you don't deal well with being challenged.

Finally, you seem to have a lot of contempt to the American values, whatever you mean by it, and that contempt is very obvious, regardless of what you say. You are entitled to it, but why did you choose to marry an American? Certainly, this area is awash with young Asians with whom you could have had a very harmonious life.   And don't comfort yourself that this is about the difference between Asian and American values.  You, my dear, are dealing with class differences.  Your values aren't "Asian" values per se. They are the values of Asian underclass and shopkeepers, a class of people for whom money was never a certainty, and whose well-being use to hang on the thinnest of threads.  This is not a diss against them - they can be honorable people who lead honorable lives, but their values are shaped by their reality, and their reality was that money was not a certainty.  People who lived comfortable lives, regardless of the continent, don't have the insecurity toward money you seem to have.  We are friends with Nigerian attorneys, Singaporean investment bankers, Bengali surgeons, Chinese property business people etc. None of them have the traits you describe as "Asian" or "African". It's not a cultural divide. It's a class divide. A Russian investment banker is much closer to a French investment banker than to a Russian janitor. You may want to ponder this for a while. [/quote]

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