Reply to I feel like my husband just doesn't like being a dad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean, he likes it in theory. He likes to post FB photos and it all looks very sunny and cheery. But he complains endlessly every.single.time they have a game or practice or event that he has to go to. 
We have 3 kids. So yeah, it's busy. We both work and we have a full time nanny and part time housekeeper. So we have it better than most people from a labor perspective. We have a handyman, a lawn care company, a Saturday night sitter.  But he is endlessly complaining about how little free time he has. He works out for 90 minutes four days a week and he plays two hours of tennis weekly. And we go out with friends two or three times month. He works a very demanding job.

Honestly, I think this is the best he can hope for. But it's still not enough. He wants more downtime. 
I could, I guess, take over all Saturday activities by driving around all day, having the kids attend the siblings' games, relying on friends to carpool. So he could, I guess, get Saturdays off. But this seems so messed up - a dad that goes to no games? 
I want an enthusiastic dad for them SO badly.
When I see the dads that even COACH, I just want to cry. I would have never predicted that he would be this way. [/quote]

This could almost have been my husband, but I think you are confusing him not enjoying being dad with being stressed and pulled in too many directions. I think given the choice he would rather stay home with the kids over working!! I also firmly believe that men cannot handle doing double duty/multi tasking as most women can. I will always believe this. My own husband included. When hes stressed he lashes out at those closest to him, me and the kids. But I know he loves us dearly and we are the center of his life. How about this? Which we did, we rotated every other weekend, we gave each other a "day off" to do whatever they want. For me it was normally shopping ,meeting a friend or sometimes just staying home and doing nothing!

I do think this would go a very long way with your husband in terms of you meeting him in the middle, acknowledging his feelings and showing sensitivity but this way you BOTH win. It does get easier we are down to just one child now and we cannot get enough of his games/activities, go figure![/quote]

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