Reply to Do you, the mother, tell your child when he/she has hurt your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]my child doesn't hurt my feelings.  he says mean things to me occasionally, but I don't get "hurt." 1) he doesn't mean them 2) even if he did, he is 41/2 years old and I am his mom.  Thsi isn't a relationhsip where I'm expecting something from a person and hurt when I don't get it.

you peopel are overinvested in youe kids.[/quote]

if he says something mean I do correct him - "that wans't nice".  But that is all.  Really the mom's job is to love and correct and give.  Anything we "get" from our kids comes through our own act of loving and correcting and giving.  My feelings don't (and shouldn't) depend on how my kids feel about me.  I'm not putting that burden on them.[/quote]

But the whole reason it "wasn't nice" is because it causes (or at least has the potential to cause) hurt feelings.  That's the whole reason not to say mean things...to avoid hurting others.  I absolutely feel that my child should know that the things she says and does have an impact on people.  Encouraging my child to be nice to me, and not say hurtful things, isn't putting a "burden" on her.  I think the very idea that I'm "burdening" by teaching her that she should not say hurtful things to me is really bizarre...[/quote]

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