Reply to Why so much hate for the OW?

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Reply to "Why so much hate for the OW?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, I never said that adultery was right, or that both adulterers are super-awesome moral people who should be commended, or offered any sort of justification excusing the behavior. It is helpful, as a human being, to know why people do the things they do. Not every adulterer is a sociopath, pure and simple, motivated by nothing but hedonism and a lack of morals. I am certain that some are, but for those who are people who made mistakes, it's helpful to understand (as a person who is married to one, as a therapist who offers counsel to one, or even as one who wants to be a better person in the future - whichever applies, I'm not speaking of myself) where these things come from.

I get that you have a lot of family baggage, but the hard line is not helpful for people who are trying to move forward from affairs. It offers no guidance or insight. The point of this whole damn post was that it seems that sometimes vitriol is directed at the OW rather than the cheating husband (or vice-versa if the genders are different).

Marriages break down for a lot of reasons. In a broken marriage, the affair itself is a large part of the picture, but it is not the whole picture. Unless you are a person who is totally uninterested in nuance, the hard line of "JUST WRONG, JUST EVIL" is not helpful.

Your mom is absolutely right than an explanation is not an excuse. I was actually just going to say that. An explanation can offer insight, closure, etc. for a person struggling to make sense of a terrible situation. It's not a pass to the people who did wrong, or a justification for what they did. [/quote]

I'm not trying to be helpful or provide comfort to moral relativists or OW trying to assuage their guilt.  I suggest they consult their priest/rabbi/pastor/therapist for that.  I also don't care about the "nuance.". You don't apologize for a wrong by saying "sorry, but...".

OP asked a question and I've answered it.  I get that you and others don't like my view, and I don't care.  I don't like the excuse making going on here.  If you were duped by a married man, that's one thing.  If you knew full well what you were doing, you deserve scorn.  I never said you deserve more than the man, just that you deserve what you get, and no amount of "nuance" changes my opinion on that.[/quote]

Fine. We have different perspectives. Not the end of my world. Stop screaming about whores and hellfire, though. It just makes you look unbalanced.[/quote]

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