Reply to Teen daughter "didn't wait"...how to proceed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Curious, would everyone's mindset be the same if the children in question were 13? Or 11? Eleven year olds can have urges. A girl of 11 could already have started menstruation so she is old enough to need BC. Should a parent see this as normal and allow the 11 year olds to have sex at home rather than let them sneak around?

Because I can't get there mentally. I just can't get to the place of openly supporting kids that young having sex, but most on this thread seem like they might.[/quote]

But the children in question are not 13, or 11. They are 15.[/quote]

Right. So the age makes a difference? Because plenty of posts are saying, well these kids are going to do it no matter what so have the open conversation, make a safe place, get the girl on BC. So where do we draw the line? High school age? But what about middle schoolers? They can get STDs and unwanted pregnancies? So is 13 the limit where we should support a sexual relationship? What makes a HS freshman better equipped to handle an adult relationship than a 7th grader.[/quote]

Yes, of course age makes a difference. Would OP as concerned if his daughter were 18, or 21, or 45? Would you?

And neither a high school freshman nor a seventh grader are equipped to handle an adult relationship, but that's ok, because neither of them are having an adult relationship. "Adult relationship" is not the same as "sexual relationship".

Also, as a general principle, my position is that people who are having sex that may lead to pregnancy should use contraception, and that is true regardless of how old the people are. "I do not condone you having sex, and I forbid you to do it" is not an effective method of contraception.[/quote]

Adult relationship was probably not the right term, but there are profound implications physically and emotionally for a child having sex and I don't think making sure Sierra and Jordan are well stocked in condoms and IUDs while I check my bed for stray hairs every night is the way to go on this. I just don't.

So 11 year olds having sex in your home is not OK, 13 year olds having sex in your home is natural.[/quote]

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