Reply to He says he's old-fashioned, but keeps letting me set up dates, and pay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: I'm not a total idiot, thanks to those who realize that. I suppose I could be more detailed with the info I provide, but my posts already seem long. He is who he says he is - I have verified Facebook and LunkedIn profiles with his last name. He has invited me out on weekend nights, I have declined because the scheduling did not work out this far. Of course none of this means he isn't cheap or anything else, but I'm not just blindly going along with whatever he tells me.[/quote]

OP, I'm a PP.

You sound sweet, smart, and empathetic.

So, let me channel my internal Grandmemere.  You need to picture a 4 foot tall, French Canadian woman, who everyone adored.

"Why would you consider a man that doesn't treat you like flowers grow out of your ass?"

Then there would have been a glass of whiskey mysteriously offered from what seemed like thin air,  and probably watching a Thunderstorm on her porch.

I understand there's a disconnect here, because not everyone grew up with a French speaking grandmother from Northern Canada.

The point is: he adores you, or doesn't. Three dates in, sparks fly, or they don't. My DH was so shy, our first date was a group date that his friends invited me on. Date two he was something like 2 hours late (long story, and he's a lucky man I'm a good interpolater). By the end of date three, there was no turning back for either of us (and I'm not talking sexually).

What I'm saying is.. the end of each date should leave you wanting MORE, NOT questioning what will happen next. Not every date starts perfectly, ends perfectly, or proceeds perfectly, but if there's going to be something happening, there should be some thing happening that drives both people to the next date. I often tease DH about our "early ons", because I swear.. There was no way we should have panned out. But we did.

The problem comes, OP, if your loins are the only thing doing the talking, what else does guy bring to the table? You sound literate, intelligent, coherent..much more than a lot of folks. Is his really what you want? A man that won't ask for your number? One that won't take a traditional role (even for kicks)? One that puts you in the drivers seat for dating?

A lot of women I know would love this stuff, so I'm actually one of the few on his thread that will not debate the "beta male" thing. But, y need to know what you have, and be willing to deal with that. Is that what you want? Because that's what you have, or .. What y need to talk about

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