Reply to Cold feet ever since I got engaged and wedding is this weekend!

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Reply to "Cold feet ever since I got engaged and wedding is this weekend!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 2 cents... Very high stress time for both of you and while I feel that there are likely some pretty significant underlying issues here with your fiancé, my vote would be to get married and wait a while for things to settle down/improve before having kids.  Look, people get divorced.  I got married when I was very young right out of college and divorced a few years later but didn't have any kids.  Second time around I remarried in my early 30s and DW and I just celebrated our second anniversary and are planning on starting a family soon.  You have a pre-nup in place and that's probably a good thing.  We did not go that route but given what you've shared it's an easier exit.  I had one the first time around.  All of this being said you guys got together for a reason and despite his faults and drinking, etc, the dude probably really loves you.

If you are really unsure about the wedding sit down and make a pro/con list if you haven't already.  Worst case scenario he turns into a horrible drunk and becomes abusive you get the marriage annulled.  [/quote]

I DO NOT agree with this advice.  OP, your fiance is showing you clear signs that he is not the type of person you want to be with.  It will only get worse after you are married.  Think long and hard before you marry him.  I am telling you this because I was married for 12 years to a man I never should have married in the first place.  I had two children with him and unfortunately he will always be in my life.  [b]Get out now while you can.  Or at least hold off on the wedding until you can say for sure you do not have any doubts[/b].[/quote]

Horrible advice.  Everyone I know who has been married has had doubts and cold feet to some degree.  It is one of the biggest life changing events people go thru and you're telling her to bail until she has NO doubts at all?  Not realistic at all.  I think you're projecting a bit.[/quote]

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