Reply to Our 35yr old divorced friend is dating a 25yr old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married.  I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things.  It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.[/quote]

And, by the way, I am particularly sensitive to this type of situation.  My parents are both college professors, and my mom is the type of open, accepting, non-judgmental woman the previous poster describe - she believes in inviting younger people into your social group and expanding your viewpoints.  She frequently invites her students for book groups at her house, or for Sunday dinners.

When I was a high school sophomore, one of her graduate students - a young woman in her early 20s - came over sometimes for parties or dinner.  My mom introduced her to my dad because she thought that he could better advise her.  Yes, they began an affair - my dad was in his late 40s at the time - it was devastating to my mother, she was blindsided, and it broke up my family, as my dad (and his girlfriend) decamped to another university because of the awkwardness of it all.

Twelve years later my dad's academic career has never regained the traction or momentum he had before, and his girlfriend left him for another, successful academic.[/quote]

This is not remotely the same situation. Your father was in his late 40s, married and she was in her early 20s. That's an entire generation, almost 30 years. That's QUITE different than a 25 year old dating a 35 year old.[/quote]

Yes, please reference the power difference detailed in the Clougherty-Lonsdale relationship, where both were in their 20s, with only a 7 or 8 year age difference.[/quote]

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