Reply to I asked DH for reassuring words and he flipped out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP:  I really appreciate the DH perspective and the comments that were well thought out. I hear real irritation regarding this on all sides.  [b]But I don't hear guys saying they would flip out and scream at their DW[/b].  That's significant.

My approach to DH was not from a place of manipulation, nor was it angry or anything.  It was from a place of being ..... fragile, and I was consciously trying not to frame it in any other way. [b]It's really interesting to hear all the projection.[/b]

If DH had said to me when before we married, oh btw, if you get in a bad space or needy (which from this forum i'm told happens all the time) you can't count on me to be understanding whatsoever.  Or if I'm approached about your insecurities,  just deal, i can't be bothered. It's your problem.  And moreover, you can expect that I will be mean, critical, neglectful, unempathetic and cold on a regular basis.  Furthermore, i will ignore your need for basic meaningful mutual human connection and refuse to respectfully discuss it.

If that had been spelled out, I would have stayed away.  End of story.

[/quote]

I've been sort of dumbfounded by the two bolded parts too. OP, people are making all kinds of assumptions, which I guess is par for the course when you post on an anonymous message board where the whole story is never able to be told. Only you know if you are excessively needy and if that's played a part in any of this, but it's disconcerting to me to see everyone jump to that assumption as if fact. [/quote]

OP:  me too.  But enlightening nonetheless.  There were sparks of insight even if I didn't completely agree.  But the venom......surprising but good entertainment.[/quote]

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