Reply to Do you feel your husband appreciates you as a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^Fetishization?  I am the PP who spoke of how much I enjoyed those times with my mom and I hardly think thats the right term for it.  The fact is, those times meant a lot to me, and to my siblings.  My mother had to go back to work when I was in college, and my younger siblings went through most of middle and high school without her.  There was a marked difference in performance in school, use of drugs, and also juvenile/criminal activity.  Now, this was an extreme case, but I know for me and ALL my siblings we so missed that time in the "golden hours" of the afternoon where we would sit around the table and chat with her.  By 11pm or "late at night", she was usually so stressed and tired that chatting was the last thing she wanted to do.

Of course, everyone has different experiences- but to suggest mine are invalid and that people are "fetishizing" the additional time with children that SAHMing allows is absolutely ludicrous.[/quote]

I'm not suggesting yours are invalid. What I am reacting to was the "amazing," etc PP who wrote as though that's a universal experience. That experience is just not the case for everybody (even, I might say, most people), but there's a lot of people here in DCUM who write as though that is the only valid experience that exists. That is what I mean by fetishization: there is this assumption that there is a single universal experience that is the best experience. That IS fetishization.

If it works for you, cool. But it's not universal, and it's not right to assume that is the only time that people make connections with their kids or that it's the best way to do things.[/quote]

I dont remember anyone suggesting that every "child of SAHM" experience was like that, or all the same.  Just as many kids with working parents do not have a magical time late at night where they sip hot cocoa and chat with their parents.

But, by the very natures of the different jobs, it would be impossible to argue that the average SAHM does not have more time to spend with/around their child than the average WOTH mom. [/quote]

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