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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's clear that there is a big divide on how people view sex. There is a group that sees sex as something a couple does with one another because sex with each other is good. [b]And there's a group that sees sex as a reward one spouse (usually the wife) controls and doles out to the other. [/b]

If you don't want to have sex, then don't. Simple as that. If not wanting to have sex is the norm for you most days of the week, then it's a problem, and you should take it upon yourself to look for ways to fix that problem. And if you don't take steps to fix a problem in the marriage that you are causing, don't be surprised when your marriage deteriorates and don't blame it on the other person.[/quote]

Bullshit. There's no controlling and doling out. Each partner is in control of their own body. If they're not interested, whatever the reason, they are no under obligation to engage in sex. And the other person should be mature enough to respect that.

Also, I don't think it would be much fun to have sex with an uninterested partner. And it would feel too close to forcing myself on someone for me to be comfortable with the idea.[/quote]

You're delusional if you don't think there is a cultural expectation that more than a few people buy into that sex is something the woman gives for good behavior and the man earns for good behavior.

[b]That said, you're right that sex isn't fun with an uninterested partner. [/b]It's just a particularly sad form of masturbation. But, if one spouse is uninterested more often than not, it's a problem for the marriage. The interested spouse is usually motivated to look for solutions. All too often, the uninterested spouse doesn't recognize it as their problem too.  [/quote]

Actually, considering it as a form of masturbation is ignoring the fact that there's another human being involved.  If you're going to compare it to a sexual act, let's be real and acknowledge what in fact it most closely resembles: rape.  If you are having sex with someone who does not want to have sex with you,  [b]that is rapey.[/b] Period.  Regardless of whether or not you are married.  Which is why the court system does acknowledge the existence of marital rape.  If one party is not wanting to have sex, and you have sex with them anyway, at least acknowledge and own up to what you're doing.[/quote]

Well, it's rape in the same way that going to a job you don't like is slavery. The key is uninterested versus unwilling. [/quote]

I hope you're a troll. If you're for real, I pity your partner, regardless of your gender.

If you're a man, you're a disgusting chauvinistic rape apologist.
If you're a woman, you're the kind of hateful person that makes it so much harder for a woman to report rape, especially marital rape.

Shame on you in both cases.[/quote]

Totally agree.  Sincerely hope this is a troll trying to get people riled up... But given the number of rape apologists out there I bet they believe every word they're saying, sadly.[/quote]

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