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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

That really sucks- my wife is very similar.  Of course when I've posted my frustration, women come out of the woodwork to chastise me for [b]not trying hard enough[/b] and failing to meet her physical needs (which are almost non-existent).

I really hate the idea of "duty sex" but it falls into the spectrum (IMO) that if something is important to your spouse, there should be some kind of compromise.  For one spouse to dictate the frequency of intimate contact- whether it is too frequent or too infrequent- is not fair to the other partner.  Of course one partner has the right to refuse sex and the other partner should respect their decision.  But if one partner is never in the mood, it destroys a marriage.[/quote]

This only holds[b] if you really are trying[/b] to meet your wife's needs physically.  Because here I am, never in the mood for the kind of sex my DH has to offer.   I'd be SO in the mood for a different kind of sex. But alas, he isn't interested, not really, in giving it to me. So here I am. [/quote]

Not sure there is a metric for this, but is there an amount of trying that constitutes "really trying" or trying "hard enough" even if it doesn't get her off? I mean, if she needs to be lubricated with the tears of a unicorn harvested under a full moon on the 53rd Sunday of the year before she can get off, I'd think that's something she needs to work on. If all he'll ever do is whip it out and try to jam it in, then that's on him. Between those extremes, there's a spectrum. [/quote]

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