Reply to Some people just don't understand the sacrifices required to be a parent...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I could have written this about my husband. People don't get it. My husband is finishing a master's degree which will has done zero for his career, pure ego. He chose to start this 4-year process when our daughter was 1. He's missed so much. But he never misses the gym!! Every single day, he goes to the gym. I had a conversation with him when I was pregnant saying, "Please rearrange your schedule and don't go right after work so she's not lingering in daycare longer than necessary." (His schedule starts way earlier than mine and he's always been done at 3:30). Nope. Never once did he or has he sacrificed that time, and she has always been in daycare/preschool/aftercare until 5:30. I resent the shit out of him for that. He knows it, just doesn't care. He is his #1 priority and always will be.[/quote]

I know of several friends like this.

I shake my head at a group of friends that all have young children - but go away monthly for weekends with the girls, out during the week with the girls, and never miss gym time which causes their children to be in childcare longer.  Their husbands must be extraordinary.  They are not SAHM - they work.  I cannot IMAGINE all that "me" time and not being apart of my children's lives.

It seems so incredibly selfish.[/quote]

This stuck out to me like a sore thumb. You must be one of those mothers who completely gives up all sense of self identity once the kids arrive? Then you realize when the kids go off to college that you don't know what to do with yourself or even know who you are as an individual. Having kids does not mean you are no longer a person with individual needs and interests. You do realize the best kind of parent is a healthy one and part of being a healthy parent is having outside interactions with the world that are not related to your kids, right? It is ridiculous to think that EVERY waking moment outside of work needs to be spent with your child. It is important for both mothers and fathers to have relationships with friends that involve doing non kid related things. I personally think I would go insane if I did not have a group of girlfriends that I spent time with doing things that I love that are not necessarily related to just my kids! As long as you have a balance and you also have one on one time with your kids and they know you are emotionally available then I think it is a wonderful thing to maintain a self identity outside of being just "mom" and in no way shape or form is that "selfish". I think you need to get out of the house for a few hours and maybe have a glass of wine and some laughs and you might realize how therapeutic that really is! Good luck to you when your kids are 18 and move away.....[/quote]

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