Reply to 11yo DD furious that we don't allow screens M-Th

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[quote=Anonymous]My advice is to go the other way and get rid of the screens altogether.  Then it doesn't become this carrot that is dangling on Friday, with Friday seeming OH so far away.

Screens are a very low focus in our house.  We have one advanced maternal age laptop (upon which I'm typing).  It sits in the kitchen and is not used that much, except for mostly quicker lookup type things (and of course the late night DCUM extravaganza!).  So the kids don't witness the adults using it very much; instead the adults have modeled other activities which draw the kids in.  The adults have cell phones which are not constantly in view/being used and even get left at home on outings.  And honestly, there doesn't seem to be much time for idle screen time anyway - it's a really busy time of life.  Anyway, there are five kids in the house ages 13 and down.  None of them have any electronic device of any kind.  There is a house phone that they can and do use to call their friends.  My kids are happy, healthy, get lots of adult attention, are involved in really interesting activities, and do not beg about screen things at all.  When they are at their friends houses, they are free to do whatever their friends do, such as video games, TV, or internet surfing, and we don't make a big deal out of it.   And of course they watch TV when we go out to eat/the doctors office/at the gym/practically every public space so it's not like they are entirely cut off from such things.  We've told our oldest that he is welcome to buy a phone when he has the money for it and the monthly plan.  So far, he doesn't care enough to pursue it.

As for your situation OP, it seems plenty of people are more lax than you, so you have plenty of support to just loosen up.  However, I agree with what some other posters have suggested - that you make her work for it.  I would never "just give in" to her whining.  I would probably make her wait a few weeks before I would even discuss it (just for basic self-discipline and development of patience -- and letting her know I'd be using that time to consider it) and if she whined about it during that time, I'd start tacking on extra weeks.  Anyway, if she can demonstrate sufficient maturity and patience, then ultimately I might suggest a list of things that needed to be accomplished on either a daily or weekly basis in order for her to use her device during the week.  I'd probably include some big ticket items on the list, like preparing dinner for the family once a week, keeping the bathroom scrubbed and clean, or visiting with an elderly neighbor on a regular basis.

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