Reply to How long did it take for you/your spouse to feel balance/normal after an extra marital affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I like this article on the subject:

http://www.infidelityhelpgroup.com/2014/06/25/once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater-2/

Perhaps PPs husband has changed, but likely not.[/quote]

Thanks for sharing. The self-justification is really pretty interesting... 
.[i]... seemed to genuinely believe she was acting appropriately, calmly rationalizing the situation. This is common with cheaters.

.... the affair escalates from relatively innocuous behavior without them being fully cognizant that it was in fact starter affair behavior. “It just happened” characterizes that particular model of thinking.
.... It highlights how many inch towards an affair, tweaking their thinking and rationale after every interaction without really seeing how this slowly progresses them into muddier waters.
[/i]

The Jenner case is quite interesting - she had at least sub-consciously decided to have an affair - rest of the actions were just the prelude to the finale.

I am actually watching a situation like this unfold where a DW continues on with a 'friendly' behavior which is clearly leading to an affair with all it aftermaths. She has managed to find justifications very similar to this - she is planning to meet as  a friend, to get closure from times gone by, to brings things to a closure now and so on. She has discounted her ongoing, explicit chatting with the OM as being purely fantasy and that she can contain the impending face to face and end it on her own terms. Just hope for her sake it does not implode as she seems to have everything else in a good place except this crazy desire for the OM.
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Have you told her an emotional affair is a deal-breaker to you as well as a physical affair? She may be in the mindset of if they haven't had sexual interaction it isn't an affair. But it always will lead to that. I am so sorry you are dealing with this..[/quote]

This is someone I know and am just an observer for all intents and purposes.
What I see is that despite what is obvious to me is a full blown EA (plus explicit chat according to her), she sees it as just flirting.
I see the meet coming and from there, it is not clear where it will land.

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