Reply to 12 year old son has no motivation/isn't happy

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[quote=Anonymous]17:51 here.  Yes, I think it wouldn't hurt to have your son evaluated if he is very different from your other kids.  He may have some attentional issues in the ADHD direction of things and motivation is a huge part of that.  In fact I heard an expert mention that some think ADHD is a disorder of motivation.  Nothing to be alarmed about.  Whether or not he meets the criteria for an ADD label is of no relevance because the behaviors/issues you are seeing remain the same.  We have the same issues (plus others) and we do not use medication though at some point we may turn in that direction.  I suggest that if you get a psychologist you get a cognitive behavioral therapist or behavioral therapist.  Behavioral strategies will be most helpful in helping build motivation (even if external at first, like rewards, breaks, etc.) to buckling down and doing work.  The book The Kazdin Method is great for explaining to parents the importance of motivation systems for certain types of kids who lack internal motivation.  I highly recommend it.  We have done years of behavioral therapy with home tutors (college students who were trained with basic behavioral principles) who would work on brief activities, say 15 min, and my son would earn rewards by focusing and doing his best--rewards which were often a chosen activity at break time, extra break time, etc.  This helps build attention and creates motivation.  You don't need a team of home tutors but those same princples apply.  You have the right idea with a structured schedule.  Another thing that helps is building his confidence by making sure at least some of the work is doable and doing that first.  The benefits of an eval are helping you and him understand why he struggles to meet expectations, ideas for how to support him with school work and expectations, finding out if there are any areas of difficulty that he needs help with (like difficulty writing, processing, math, etc.).  If they find he has issues that are making work especially hard you can get an IEP or 504 plan at school to offer some support, like extended time on tests.  Kids like yours are often bright  but benefit from some support and understanding or they can fall through the cracks or develop a negative self concept.  [/quote]

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