Reply to DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not a BTDT parent. My kids have a lot of freedom but they know what our expectations are regarding dating.  Good that OP's DD is using BC, but 16 is still very young.

When your kids are doing well in school and being generally responsible - it is great, BUT, they are still not adults and they still need guidance and supervision - so you cannot be lax.  There is a difference between delegation of responsibility as a parent and dereliction of duty as a parent.

Teen years are confusing years for our children and they are not capable of making very good choices sometimes.  It is a hard balance for parents though because you also do not want them to not be independent.

I hope things go well for OP's daughter and she remains focussed on her education, because next year is Junior year and this(boyfriend, sex) is a major distraction and a source of emotional ups and downs.

BTW - if your DD is in her bedroom with her BF with doors shut, what do you think is happening?

[/quote]

OP again.  DD is a junior now and her grades have not suffered at all nor has her dedication to dancing suffered.  But yes, I am watching this.  Her boyfriend is also a good student who got a 4.0+ last semester due, he says, to being around DD.

Honestly, DD has always studied with the door to her bedroom suite shut.  There is a partner's desk in her adjacent study that she has always used with any friend that came over to study with her.  Maybe I was just stupid, but it never occurred to me that she was engaging in a sexual relationship with this boyfriend.

But yes, sex aside, the seriousness of their relationship does concern me.  Again - what can I do about it now?!  [/quote]

You can't do anything about it now. It will affect her grades when they break up. You need to explain that she is making adult decisions that have adult consequences. Boys don't break up, they find somebody else and then break up... which opens her to STDs or at least being devastated.... or maybe she will break up with him, which opens her up to him being heartbroken and everything that comes with that.

I am a pretty realistic parent but 16 is young. Is he a 16 yo junior or an older junior/senior?

You need to at least warn her of all the side effects of the pill (does breast cancer run in your family) and the terrible stuff that comes with breakups.

My sister/cousin has gone through this with 2 teen daughters, one learned her lesson after 1 boyfriend... the other just keeps going back for more. [/quote]

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