Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I posted about the situation being very fact specific and made the suggestion that the sister talk to the coach.  A couple of posters then noted that it would be a bad idea for OP to make that suggestion to her sister (that she talk to the coach).  I agree with them.  It would not be a good idea for the OP to suggest or ask her sister to meet with the coach.  It would be a good idea for the sister to meet with the coach and go over the situation, but the sister needs to come up with that idea on her own -- or perhaps at the suggestion of another family member not the OP.

Yes, a coach may lie and say it is no problem and then hold it against the kid, but that is pretty unlikely.  Otherwise reasonable people sometimes are afraid to pick up the phone and talk to a coach.  Coaches do not want to talk to parents about why their kid is not playing as much when he/she is so much better than the other players.  But, a parent certainly can have a conversation about their kid being in his aunts wedding on x date and the kid being very concerned about missing pre-season tournament to go to wedding.  Thus, parent wants to get the real story -- what happens if kid misses tournament for wedding.  High school coaches are not typically evil.  Chances are very good the coach is going to say -- no problem go to the wedding.

The kid will missed out on some scrimmage playing time which means he will have to work hard in practice so the coach can see where he fits in.  That may even take a few games into the season, but it will happen eventually.  Coaches are generally pretty reluctant to sit a player who can help the team.  And, they are idiotic if they take a freshmen player on a varsity team and then not play him.   So, OP's sister or brother-in-law needs to cowboy up and make a call.  If the coach says he using the tournament to make up his mind on the team roster, and nephew is on the bubble, then maybe they decide nephew can stay and do the tournament.  They just need to ask the coach.

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