Reply to i wish my boyfriend was more motivated

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[quote=Anonymous]Also in your shoes 15 years ago. Dude flat out told me he wasn't into work. Thought he wasn't serious. Oh yes, I really did think that. Told myself his lack of ambition didn't matter because I wasn't invested in becoming a SAHM and i was being liberal supporting him while he "finished his degree". Oh god. Yes I really did not see it. I thought he couldn't really mean it when he said he had no goals...then I told myself I wasn't going to depend on any man for money and I was doing the virtuous thing by not marrying for money. The longer I stayed the harder it was to get out. Then I stupidly married the guy and six months afterwards I was filing for divorce because reality struck.  Thinking and planning for marriage are completely different than actually being married. Duh.

Marrying for love is great but I urge you to think carefully and realistically about the kind of  life and " infrastructure " you will be able to create with this man.

This decision requires as much logic and planning as a career, mortgage, retirement, etc. You dont just say "well, I'll get x professional or masters degree even though I know it won't lead to the kind of life I want.  Or Ill buy that house in spite of the fact its in a shitty school district because the school district will change or good schools are just not that important to me.

He's not going to change. Accept that and accept that you want to be with someone who can financially support the lifestyle you want. I'll be so crushed for my son if he marries a woman who secretly wishes he were different.  Please don't do that to yourself, this man or your unborn children.

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