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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, my brother has undiagnosed BPD.  I have basically cut all ties with him because he sabotages every single relationship he has ever had and I simply can't trust him at all.  The relationship is not worth the emotional abuse he  delivers and the constant meddling and need to know from him just got too exhausting.

Anyway in order to understand what I was dealing with, and also to help my sister in law through their divorce I ended up reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (Mason and Kreger) as part of a recommendation here.  It was very helpful for me to hear the examples in the book that are exactly like my brother.  They give ways to respond to situations and emphasize that you can only control your reaction to a situation and that you can't change that person.  In many instances the behavior stems from a fear of abandonment.  Oh the irony considering this is exactly what my brother did to his wife (soon to be ex-wife) and his kids.

Highly recommend the book for specific things to avoid and suggestions for interacting with a person who has BPD.[/quote]

Former here again. Sorry you are dealing with this with your brother. I wanted to comment that while it may be ironic he has a fear of abandonment and yet is abandoning his family, it is a hallmark of BPD. Reject before you are rejected; abandon before you are abandoned; hurt before you are hurt.

BPDs are SO SURE that all interpersonal relationships will end in pain and disaster they try to ensure that they will be on the winning end. So they sabotage things.

I can't speak to your brother's 's or the PP wife's motivations, but for me I grew up in a family where there was abuse, emotional manipulation, real abandonment etc. I was "taught" this way of interpersonally relating to people who were close to me. That you should expect people who love you to also cut you off emotionally, turn on you and abuse you and that it has nothing to do with how much they love you, in fact it just means they love you a whole lot!!

Anyway, just a little insight from the frightened and warped mind of a BPD.[/quote]

Not pp, but can I ask you a question?

You identify as being a former BPD. How long would you say you've been recovered/remission/etc?

After untangling the disorder, have your relationships with people changed? Have they gotten better, worse? [/quote]

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