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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I know you don't like what people are telling you, and you are frustrated with what you see as snarkiness.  What you don't understand is that you come across as someone unwilling to see the truth about the situation that's clear as day to anyone who a) isn't you, and b) a little older, which is most of DCUM posters.

Yes I know, you like this guy, he's really special, best friend what not.  You are asking a very specific question: why would he lie? Be reasonable.  Think back to any time in your life when you lied.  It was only for one reason and one reason only: you didn't want the person you lied to to know the truth.  That's the sum of it all, the rest is just embellishment.  Do you think there's any reason out there that can make you slap your head and go yesss, I get it now.  THAT'S why he lied to me.  Of COURSE that's perfectly fine. That reason doesn't exist, assuming he's really engaged.

The second issue is that you are inappropriately close to someone who a) isn't your SO, and b) is involved with someone else.  Think about it.  If you had a boyfriend and discovered he was talking to his ex three times a day, what would that tell you about that person? It's not complicated. You still see this man as yours, and you are upset someone is encroaching on your territory. You are NOT just friends, regardless of what you are telling yourself. It's OK to have friends and it's OK to be in touch with exes, but frequent, flirtatious contact is not OK when it comes to you, and it's not OK when it comes to his gf.

He's not doing right by you, and he's not doing right by his partner. He is also lying to you.  There is no reason in the world that would make this behavior appropriate or right, so stop looking for one.  Accept what everyone is telling you: this man does not have your best interest in mind, and extricate yourself from this drama. [/quote]

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