Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How often do you take off work to spend the day with her?

How often do you go on dates without the children? How often do you actually plan the date and daycare?

How often do you go on vacation without the children?

How often does she go away with friends without you or the children?

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X200000000[/quote]

Oh, fuck this. It's standard issue advice for husbands of wives who have unilaterally decided that because they are mothers there is no longer any reasonable expectation that they'll be wives as well. And it doesn't work. It's gaslighting to make him think he's at fault for the poor treatment he's receiving and, even more, kiss her ass. Talk about victim blaming. [/quote]

so you think it is okay for a couple to never go on a date, never take a day off together, [b]never vacation without children[/b], never go away without the family.

You life must SUCK![/quote]

Last summer, we had [b]our first three days together without children in 17 years.  It was wonderful, but not something we could have done before that. [/b] Not everyone has people ready, willing AND able to take care of their children while they go on vacation together.  If you do, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. [/quote]

i find this hard to believe. [/quote]

Why?  Not everyone has people to take care of their children for extended amounts of time. [/quote]

not for 3 days, but not even for a day? so the 2 of you can check into a hotel and just spend the day together?

hell, take a personal day at work and check into a hotel from 9am-5pm. marriage takes work and maintenance. [/quote]

I never said our marriage wasn't good.  I am just saying that not everyone has people with whom they can leave their children for extended periods of time.  We have done the day off bit and wrangled a night here and there. We have regular date nights and walk every night together.   But we have never had anyone who could look after them for longer periods.  If you have such people in your life, count your lucky stars.  Last summer, was the first time we had a whole weekend.  It was wonderful. [/quote]

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