Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced after 26 years of marriage.  I was 24 at the time and my brother was 25.  They hung on until we graduated college and got established, and then they split up acrimoniously.  My dad has a girlfriend who my mom despises (and never fails to tell us so) and my dad is also furious about my mom having a man friend.  My brother and I moved on and had our own families, but [b]holidays, kids' birthdays and family get-togethers are very difficult when you have divorced parents who hate each other and won't be in the same room together. [/b] My mom made a scene at my daughter's baptism lunch because she didn't want to be in a group family picture with my dad and his girlfriend. I also hate having to divide our time between so many places (my husband's parents are also divorced).  My kids are still little, but sometimes I think about their [b]confirmations, high school and college graduations, weddings, etc. a[/b]nd it makes me very sad that my parents are incapable of putting their issues aside to participate in family events under one roof.  I suggest that in addition to thinking about how a divorce would affect your kids, think about how it will affect your grandkids. [/quote]

+1 on this. I married someone with parents who won't be in the same room. Holidays are miserable when we visit his hometown. Can't overstate how frustrating it is to walk on eggshells and have to plan so much (mil will come over at 1pm and leave by 130, tell fil to come over at 145 so they don't have to see each other) so that they are both "comfortable." We don't have kids yet but I am already dreading the thought of 1st bday. I think I will end up putting my foot down and saying that if people don't think they can manage to be in 1 room for a few hours for a bday party, then too bad.  I will not subject my children to multiple parties and multiple houses because their grandparents cannot be civil adults in the same room.[/quote]

Yes, we're trying to to do this too.  "One show only" and if you can't make it, then too bad.  It's exhausting trying to juggle and plan everything so everyone is happy and no one gets their feelings hurt, so I am trying to not do that anymore.  Sometimes I wish there was a way I could divorce my parents.  :cry: [/quote]

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